5 Lousy NES Arcade Ports

Those of us who were around during the 80's remember this scenario all too well: somewhere along the way you'd hear that one of your favorite arcade games was coming to the NES, but when you got the game home and you popped it in your console - *gasp!* - it was nothing like the game you'd spent hours playing in the arcade! This was somewhat understandable given the limited power of the NES (game designers often had to make concessions in the areas of music and graphics) but occasionally, game designers would strip out one or several of the most attractive components of a game and deliver an experience that was watered down at best and completely unrecognizable at worst. Below, in no particular order, are five of the worst offenders.

Double Dragon

This game was an absolute smash in the arcades and the anticipation for a home version ran high. It was a side scrolling beat 'em up in the vein of Final Fight, and like that game it featured a two player cooperative mode (hence the "double" referred to in the title). The NES version featured several disappointing key differences from its arcade counterpart. For starters, instead of starting the game with a full set of attacks and maneuvers, the player must "unlock" more powerful moves by defeating enemies. It wasn't a deal breaker, but it was a major difference from the arcade original that had you throwing elbows and tossing foes over your shoulder from the outset. No, the major offense here was that in this version, THERE WAS NO TWO PLAYER CO-OP MODE!! You literally couldn't play doubles in a game that was so dedicated to the idea of simultaneous play, it was in the freaking title! The designers threw in a bonus mode that allowed two players to square off against one another in a one-on-one brawl, but it was no consolation. This NES version was certainly playable, and it wasn't altogether unenjoyable, but it remains a major letdown and a good example of the type of (sometimes incomprehensible) design choices that gamers often had to accept in the arcade ports of the 80's and 90's.

Paperboy

The arcade version of Paperboy was a total classic. It featured a unique concept and it was a fun, whimsical, and challenging game to boot! Players took control of a paperboy and guided him through a suburban obstacle course as he delivered to his subscribers, vandalized the non-subscribers, and avoided all manner of unique and colorful characters in his quest to make it through the "week". In terms of gameplay, the 1988 NES version certainly resembled its arcade counterpart, but it was so clunky, ugly, and devoid of charm that it was almost a different game entirely. The graphics and sound are horrible, the control is atrocious, and it's incredibly difficult! This game was released by Mindscape Software and it was one in a series of very uneven NES ports of Atari arcade games produced by that company.

Ikari Warriors

Here's another game where the chief attraction is 2 player cooperative play, though unlike the producers of Double Dragon, the designers here wisely leave that feature intact. The game plays much like it's arcade cousin as players take control of a pair of Rambo look-a-likes named Paul and Vince, mowing down endless waves of enemy soldiers in the name of freedom and junk. Cheap deaths were a constant and the game only offered a limited number of continues, but a code allowed for unlimited lives...and sweet Jesus you needed them! This game just dragged on and on and on...Hours upon hours upon hours of fighting the same little blue and red soldiers hoping that SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN ALREADY! Top it off with clunky graphics, repetitive music, and main characters who moved like they were thigh deep in molasses, and you've got another example of an arcade hit that couldn't keep its mojo going on the NES.

Karate Champ

I'll be honest and point out that with this port, the source material wasn't exactly without its flaws. On both the NES version and the arcade original, iffy collision detection and a less than intuitive control scheme hamper what is an otherwise an intriguing early entry in the one on one fighting genre. Yet despite these blemishes, the arcade original had an amusing charm with its digitized speech, rudimentary cut scenes, and a focus on real (read: no fireballs) karate techniques that kept me coming back for more. By contrast, the NES version featured blocky graphics, irritating sound effects, and characters whose karate 'moves' more closely resembled bad dancing. Don't even get me started on the digitized speech!

Strider

This one holds a special place in my heart because the arcade version of Strider was and is one of my all time favorite games. A very accurate port of that version was released for the Sega Genesis some years after this NES version, but before we got to play that we were stuck with this. Those who played the arcade version of Strider might remember it for its unique and stylish protagonist, it's moody and intense soundtrack, it's magnificent level design, and it's awesome anime inspired graphics; those who played the NES version will remember none of those things. This aggressive style of bait and switch didn't happen too often, and gamers of the 80's were accustomed to accepting graphical and game play downgrades in their NES versions, but this port features almost NONE of the traits that made its source material great. The fluid acrobatic movements of the main character are rendered here as jittery hops and jerky slides, and the expansive 'set-piece' type levels are reduced to cramped hallways and buggy platforming sections. I knew that a NES translation of a game like this would be difficult to achieve, but I never expected them to abandon so completely the spirit of the original. Of course I DID slog my way through this game; many times in fact. Why? I only wish I knew when there were so many other, better games out there to be played.

What about you? Do you have any favorites that I missed? As I mentioned before, this was a relatively common thing during the NES days. Younger readers should also keep in mind that back then game rental and used game sales weren't nearly as common as they are now, there were scant few gaming publications printing reviews and, oh yeah, there was no internet! Bad games like these sold tons because there was no 'try before you buy' option, and there weren't many places to go for a heads up on a which games to avoid. Those were dark days indeed!

Next up: 5 Great NES Arcade Ports.